Showing posts with label crochet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crochet. Show all posts

Friday, December 28, 2018

Nothing Left to Say: Silence in the Communication Age


            I have always been an advocate of writing as therapy, or at least self-help. I maintain that sorting thoughts and feelings out on paper (or a screen, if you’re a youngster) helps to clarify and organize. I can trace my history of romance through the years by looking through poems and have somehow reached the age where I can no longer recall the subject of some of them (whew!). This method of sorting doesn’t necessarily produce good poems, but it can help to create a functional level of sanity. 

            Lately though, I seem to have less and less need to express my confusion through poetry. I won’t claim a more solid sanity. As we age, the worries do change, and never entirely leave us. Grief becomes an everyday companion, and drops in at the most inappropriate times. The run-up to the holidays this winter was particularly stressful for me, and for no particular reason. We spent a quiet day at home, watching TV and making Duck A La Orange, ultimately following Julia Child’s recipe after viewing a thousand YouTube videos. My Beloved’s children are grown, and having been raised without Christmas for the most part have no great expectations. My niece and nephews are off on their own lives, too. The two little ones in our lives are far, and not yet of the age of anticipation. 

            Yet I found myself mourning Christmases of yore, the ones that seem to glow in MGM Technicolor perfection. I think I know now what my parents were thinking as they went through the Santa Claus motions each year, missing those no longer with us, the slings and arrows too of their own childhoods. We laughed, though. We laughed a lot, and I try to keep laughing, despite all the changes. Those Christmases were not perfect, but they were mine, and they are gone forever. 

            My house is in chaos lately. I have recommitted to completing the million little craft projects I’ve begun before starting any new ones. In one corner are the components of a new pill box fashioned from an Altoids container, in another a recently started baby blanket for an infant due in February. There is always the tablecloth my great-grandmother Harriet made long ago, carefully folded and zipped into a plastic cover. It needs repair, and I’ve rolled that project around my brain for years now. I’ve finally decided on a plan of attack, and hope to have this soft white monkey gone from my list of obligations soon. 

            Poems still happen. Even when I think I might not be writing at all, my files indicate otherwise. I just finished rereading the definitive bio of Anna Held, and started one about Lillian Lorraine, her successor. Work goes on in my head about all the long-term projects. I haven’t touched the memoir in months. I am very anxious to shape that material into something respectable. On the other hand, I’m not too keen on leaping into the mess that was my life in the ‘80s. A sort of aftershock takes hold, and I always need to step back and breath after a while. 

            But the desire to express my feelings about the here and now is dormant as the tiger lilies in our yard. I’ve even made conscious decisions about avoiding subjects in poems, something I’ve rarely done before. I fear that the rise of that editorial voice is a bad sign, artistically. Yet I have neither the inclination or ego to pursue a well-structured poetry career at this point. If I passed away tomorrow, there’s enough of me out there to float around the inter-ethers for a few years. Maybe I’m gathering up steam for another grand project I’ve yet to conceive. In any case, winter’s the time for this kind of stuff. Crochet, craft, cooking have all taken precedence. The pen will be there if I need it. 


Saturday, December 6, 2014

**The Stuff That Poems Are Made Of... Supposedly**


    I just got back from an unexpected trip to Florida on Thursday. My father, who has been ailing for some time (both parents have actually) has been in the hospital for over two weeks now. His long-term prognosis isn't good, and it could be weeks, or longer, before he is even able to return home.

     I haven't seen him in person for a couple of years, since his last visit to Long Island. Finances don't allow me to travel that far very frequently, and until recently I have counted on their visits to New York for my chance to see them. Probably they won't be coming back to New York anytime soon. I'm not sure when I'll be able to go back to Florida, either.

      I won't go into detail here, but I am relieved that I have been completely free of the urge to write about all this in poetic form. I'm guessing it'll all be fodder for the poetry furnace later on, if I continue to write. Not in the mood for any of that. I am inspired to get to projects that I've been putting off for decades, doing what needs doing now, or crossing it off my list, the never-ending list of 'things I'd like to do some day.' THERE IS NO SOME DAY!! I have to be reminded of this from time to time, and usually in the worst ways.

     This is one of those worst way times. Here's a picture of what I've been working on today:


For twenty years, I've been planning to use my great-grandmother's doilies to decorate a set of blue sheets and make a duvet cover. I have been trying to figure out for twenty years how to attach the doilies to the sheet. Sewing seemed too complex. The doilies are fragile, old cotton thread, and some are even ripped in small places. Suddenly I remembered a fabric glue from Youtube that might work. I did a little research and settled on another product, Mod Podge for Fabric. It's working so far.

     It's nonverbal, it's creative, and it's long overdue. As Maureen O'Hara says in, "The Quiet Man," I want to have my things about me. I want to do more in my home with what I have. I don't want to waste any more time. I want to pretend that everything's OK.